Mom’s 70th Birthday

By August 20, 2015 Celebrations No Comments

A beautiful celebration for Tita Nena with close friends and familyNVT-70th-birthday-invitation revised The beautiful and lively birthday celebrant – Tita Nena Vargas Tantoco 🙂 She’s 70 years old but she doesn’t look it.  This photo has no photoshop or filters to prove that she looks amazing at 70! She has 7 children and 13 grandchildren.  A wonderful lady with a wonderful heart.  She is the creative director in charge of decorating and making all things beautiful including our soul.   She’s our spiritual director in the family – always guiding us and giving us quotes, prayers and words of wisdom.  She always has a religious explanation for everything 🙂  We all love her! Happy birthday Tita NenaMom's 70th Birthday (94)

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 Dearest Mom,

Ever year we celebrate your birthday in a new way; you usually use your birthday to force us to do something that is good for us but that we don’t want to do. Last year you made us do a family business seminar, in the previous year’s you made us go to a monastery on top of a mountain top of La Union for a retreat that was like open your heart and bare your soul sharing.

So mom, FIRST OF ALL, thank you very much for having a normal, purely enjoyable birthday celebration this year! HAHA!

Kidding aside. You use your birthdays to help us detach from our normal lives; and re-connect with ourselves, God, and family. You were trying to make us do something that we often neglect because we are “too busy”, which is to have a loving and stable relationship with ourselves, our loved ones, our God and our country.

I never thought about your age mom. So I was a little shocked to realize that this year you are turning 70. My mom is now 70 how and when did that happen?

You are such a source of strength for me Mom. When I was young and got sick you would literally be by my side until I got well; even if it was just a fever. It was as if you were fighting my sickness for me.

I am already 48 and yet in my weakest moments you are always the one who keeps me functioning, living and going. You feel me mom and I don’t even need to ask you for support. You just know and you are always there ready to make yet another sacrifice for me. I remember once when I had a crucial encounter that would make or break the future of the people at work for whom I cared for very deeply. You told me you would pray for me; I only realized from someone else that you prayed for me fervently and totally every hour of that day sacrificing your sleep. It was a great act from great love. They say a mother’s love is the closest to experiencing God’s love. I totally totally agree with that. You are the greatest mom I can ever imagine having. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.

You are so strong; with enough strength physically, emotionally and spiritually to sustain all of us. This is one of the reasons I can’t believe you are 70.

Another reason is because you look so young. Mom I think you are young because your heart is so pure, so forgiving, so loving and so generous. That joyfulness that you have inside is expressed externally in the way you smile, laugh and they way you look. Amidst so many tragedies, some difficult struggles; there is no guile, no bitterness, no regrets. There is woundedness there as all mothers who love greatly have some woundedness. But this does not distract you from living life fully, and passionately. I am learning from you mom how to maximize passion and minimize bitterness. I wish I too would always have my heart on the right place in all things.

I can’t believe you are 70 also because in some ways you are actually getting younger. You are getting crazier, and sillier over the years. I was shocked the first time I saw you go out into your balcony and do a primal scream like a wild animal at the top of your lungs. When I was young you were really shy; now you you have no qualms about giving a huge and sometimes long speech. When you found your voice we could not restrain you from singing. In Lolo’s birthday you sang 4 consecutive songs! Your song was longer than all the other performances put together! The ultimate was when you take over the priest job of giving homilies in our family masses. I guess you are teaching us mom to be true to ourselves. And also not to take ourselves so seriously, not to be so formal and so stiff. Maybe you realized that a little late; and you are trying to help us discover sooner. You want us to nurture ourselves and not be a slave to the expectations of the world. You still often shock me mom not only with your silliness; but also the fierceness and fearlessness with which you fight for something or someone you believe in. I don’t always understand it but I am always awed by it.

Happy birthday mom! I love, adore and admire you very, very much!

Mom's 70th Birthday (31) Mom's 70th Birthday (15)My Mommy Moon– Wow Uoow by Bea Tantoco Reyes

The word mom turned upside down spells wow. That is what my mom is to me– she is WOW!!! Her beauty, her honesty, her creativity, her love for her children and her grandchildren is Just wow 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’m about to become a mom myself.. And have been recounting the many times my mom wowed me with her love for me. I want to share a few of these moments with all of you.

When Paowee and I were very young we used to always get sick together. I would either make him hawa or vice versa. I remember one time we were both sick with a really really high fever. and my mom didn’t sleep that night. She made us sibin with cold water until the early morning. My mom literally fought the fever away until she was sure it gone.

I have always been shy to get on stage to sing. And there was one concert I really really wanted to join in school. My mom came and watched me for support and from my perspective, I failed. She stayed with me that evening and consoled me throughout the disappointing self-talk I had with myself.

My mom sings to me up to this day! She sings to bring light and humor into any situation. She sings to release the emotions she has in her heart and in my heart. I learned to do this as well whenever I sing 🙂

Another time I was frantic because Das and I had just had THE talk about taking our relationship to the next level- getting married. Oh boy did I have a panic attack!! I was feeling excited but also felt extremely unworthy of this wonderful blessing. I called her up and she immediately dropped everything she had scheduled for that day, picked me up from my apartment and we went to Tagaytay. We had a nice day there, a beautiful mountain view lunch and a prayer-filled afternoon at Pink Sisters. I learned to be grateful and to count my blessings in times of panic and worry.

And the most recent of all is when she wowed me with her amazing support in my transition to becoming a wife and now a new mom. My mom has been with me every step of the way. She has been there to quietly and gently support me as i go through this process allowing me to make my own choices and learn from them. She is there to fill my love tank when needed and boy does she fill it that sometimes it’s hard to leave the nest again. Hahah..! She has been busy herself with her own wifely duties and responsibilities even at the age of 70!! Yet she still finds time to be available for her 31 year old daughter.

I am so in awe with how she does it and manages to stay inspired through it all. It’s God she will say. God is so much a part of her life that her ultimate mission in life is that everyone finds And discovers God within themselves. That we all embrace that Divinity within us. I think she has achieved this goal very successfully.

By showering her own Divinity and Light unto us, we are able to see our own. I can see the sparkles in the eyes and feel the love and light in the hearts of the many peoples’ lives she has touched as they talk to me about my mom and make her kamusta. I know what they are feeling coz I have experienced it for myself many many times.

She is just so wowly amazing- She has an amazing gift of healing; everything she touches becomes Light. Even today
is a way for her to share her Light with all of us. For her, this is not a day to honor her and her birthday, this is a day to honor each and everyone of you for being who you are to her in her life. It is an opportunity again for her to show you what Light you have within you, and how Much Light there is in this world that God gave us. Isn’t that something to wow about again???

My mom told us a few years back to call her Mommy Moon. She couldn’t have come up with a better explanation of the kind of mother/grandmother she is to all of us. She said that she is the moon because even in the darkest of nights, the moon shines it’s light on us.

Moon turned upside down reads Uoow!! My mom is now a WOW UOOW to her grandchildren, her 13 going on 15 apos!!! And she has a special relationship with every and everyone of them.

To our dearest Mommy Moon and Wow Uoow, may we all shine our light unto you as you have done for all of us. We love you to the moon and back infinity times over. Thank you for inspiring us to be as real as real can be without shamed for teaching us how to love God, and love ourselves, and for living life with a smile even when in tears. I love you so much Mom…
Happy Happy Birth into Being! And Congratulations on your Ascent to the Seventh Level of your Earthly Existence!!!

Mom's 70th Birthday (34)70th ROAST FOR MOM by Katrina Tantoco Lobregat

I think it might be safe for me to say that I have a pretty good grasp of who my mom is as a person. I’ve been around her for 40 years and usually, as parents; we tend to divulge our most authentic selves to our kids. And in case we try to hide it, kids usually are the first to pick up on what’s real and what’s inauthentic.

This roast is really for everyone here who has been such an important part of my mom’s life journey. I’m sure she has made that very clear by now with all the drama that comes with a telenovela and an opera. Yup, that’s my mom.

Everything she does is done all the way or not at all. If she is going to tell you how happy she is about watching the sunrise on specific morning, you’re not going to get a picture of the sunrise with no words or a few words. Who has received a text message like this from my Mom?

?“Dear So and so, as I watch the supercalifragilistic sunrise by our Lord, I feel the warmth and supercalifragilistic love of our Lord exponentially permeating every inch of my soul. The birds are singing and my spirit is uplifted with wonder by the magic of the world. The dew on the grass cleanses me and allows me to inhale God’s purity into my being. And I am beyond thankful for all my supercalifragilistic blessings, and for you in my life. May the Lord bless you and keep you safe. May he shine his light upon you and give you peace. Namaste. Cc: Sister Mary, Mommy Mameng, kiddos, Fr. Frias, Fr. Caluag, Fr. Dennis.”

So, what I’d like to do here is debunk the myths about my Mom. She behaves a certain way, which in turn causes us to perceive her a certain way but what I’ve noticed is that there are so many misperceptions. I want to roll down the curtain on some myths about her and reveal to you the real Marina Vargas Tantoco.

MYTH 1: Who has been in a conversation with my mom and the topic somehow turns into something that she feels very strongly about? You’re not in agreement on this topic but usually that’s ok because it’s normal not to always agree.
Good luck on that with Mom! She will not stop until she turns you to her beliefs. You will shake in the knees and not manage to get a word in, and fear her gritting her teeth, so much so that you throw in the towel.
Perception: She is domineering and dictatorial
Reality: She is a wild passionate woman, who sometimes has no control over her heart. No, she does not mean to turn you into a mouse with his tail between his legs and a cloth tied around his mouth. She actually has no clue that she has done that or made you feel that way. She got LOST in her fire, in her passion. Take it from my Dad, he has learned to stay still and be quiet until the fire subsides- no offense taken, its just mom being super human passionate mom.

MYTH 2: After almost 50 years of marriage, my mom and dad are still pretty romantic star crossed lovers. They are far from the picture of perfect but perfect as the unique twosome of Rico and Nena. The perception is Dad is the person who spoils Mom rotten and provides for her every whim. While this is half true- (we have had conversations that he is Mom’s enabler), the truth is Mom is wildly, madly in love with my Dad she loses control often like a young damsel in Hollywood movies. Apart from God, my Dad is the center of her world. When Dad doesn’t show her the kind of love that she expects at any moment, you know things are not good in home base. Alternatively, when Mom feels love from Dad, there is nothing in the world that can shake the happiness and satisfaction she feels. 50 years later and she is still trying to figure Dad out and she is still going for the chase.

MYTH 3: Because of her explosive personality, need to be heard, and her strong nature, Mom can often present herself in a conversation as someone who overly dominates. Her excitement and fervor, her childlike enthusiasm and yearning for human connection are usually misinterpreted as someone who takes over discussions. The perception sometimes is perhaps, what you may have to say is not as important as hers or that she would prefer you listen over share. Sometimes, you may feel amused by her zeal; sometimes you may feel insignificant and unheard.
The truth is, the last thing she intends to do is make anyone feel insignificant. The opposite of that is in fact her usual intention-, which is to make everyone and anyone feel loved and significant and warm and fuzzy. Think about this guys…her theme song is “Fill The World With Love”.

MYTH 4: Because of her hunger to share her life, her soul and her experiences, Mom can sometimes be perceived as self-centered. Again, I’m sure many of you here have been nurtured, cared for or rescued by Mom. She is, what seems to be, a bottomless well of generosity, and compassion. And when she gives, I don’t think she gives with the expectation of receiving anything in return. It is a pure and completely unselfish generosity- almost to a fault. Where we get into trouble is when she gives so much of herself that her love tank starts to run on empty.

I am probably the one child amongst my siblings who should have turned out loathing my Mom. Although the first maybe 7 years of my life were typical of a dream mother-daughter relationship, ours turned sour, complicated and messy when I started to grow into my teens. This lasted until my 30’s as, as an adult, there were many issues I needed to take accountability for and many lessons to learn.

My mom, to me was so tough and controlling, almost as if she was on a mission to just give me a hard time and make my life miserable. She pushed me to limits I did not know I would survive. Where she turned her loving, caring and nurturing switch with my brothers and my sister, she made me feel, being the eldest girl, I didn’t need the same kind of nurturing as everyone else. Because every child is different and requires different needs, I guess my Mom felt that I needed tough love and a whole lot of independence to grow. I suppose our parents also balanced each other off because where my Mom was tough, I found a gentle comfort and care in my Dad. As a young girl, I could not understand it, but later on; I realized she was building my character. It was almost as if nothing I did or accomplished was ever enough. Or, everything I did was wrong. I would never be good enough to meet her standards of perfection. With that she taught me to not seek affirmation outside of myself.

Fast forward to just short of a decade ago, something started to sink into me. Growing up in my world was a bit delayed, you see. I suppose it was when I started to have kids of my own. I realized that for a mother, your daughters are the best reflections of yourself, and you want them to be better than you ever were, stronger and more resilient than you ever were, have better lives than you lived. No wonder, perhaps subconsciously, my Mom was relentlessly tough on me. How much molding, production and heat would you have to do to create a better version of Marina Vargas Tantoco?

Somewhere in the last 4 or 5 years, by a miracle, by God’s grace, by a lot of work we both put individually in our soul’s evolution and self-introspection, our relationship began to connect organically. Where years ago, just being alone with her would make me feel uncomfortable, without knowing, I started looking for her. Where years ago, she would be the last person I would seek solace in, when things got tough, she was the first person I would call. And I think I am that person to her along the likes of Sister Mary, Father Caluag, Fr. Phil…he! He!

Mom, you are made of stuff most humans are not made of. Your heart is close to the light of heaven. What gets you into trouble sometimes is that not many people in this world share your nature. The world is not like you. That’s just the way it is. My wish for you is that you accept the shadow of the world, as you do the light.

My Dad is my super hero; my mom is my earth angel. Angels are those closest to the light of heaven. She is a wild, untamed, earth angel but I would not have it any other way.

Earth angels take beating after beating. You have taken the brunt of most of my siblings and mine issues, pain, anger and resentment. Yet your capacity to love is not dulled nor does it waver- your capacity to forgive always intact.

Earth angels don’t really draw boundaries for people that seek their help. They are there to rescue and love. Most times, when they are in need, they are not met with the same kind of care, understanding and capacity to give by those they have helped.

Earth angels are strong and unjaded by the obstacles of life. Mom has been through many deep painful losses that could break anyone instantly. Yet, she falls and comes alive with the same intensity for life and a renewed compassion for those around her.

Earth angels are misunderstood. Some people make of fun of her cause she is naïve, unaware and different. And that’s ok cause she is real and pure.

My wish for you is to genuinely know your value without seeking it outside of yourself. To know what an incredible person you are in the silence of your heart. To know that you are heard. To experience the same kind of unconditional love for yourself as you give everyone. To chill out and flow. To stop focusing on things that you SHOULD do but turn you attention to the things your SOUL really WANTS to do. To fine-tune your gift of wisdom and discernment. To release all guilt from your being and be FREE to fill yourself with Love first and then fill the world with your magic and love!

We are blessed beyond belief to have you as our Mama Bear, and my siblings and I are also so brilliant to have chosen you to be our Mama! You’re our superstar!

Mom's 70th Birthday (7)Tribute to mom on her birthday by Paolo Tantoco

Hi mom first and foremost I would like to thank you for baring with me all these years . Now that I have my own children I realize what i am going to have to deal with . I see both myself and Dina in our children and for example zachy goes though all my things in the house my toys my gadgets, my pens, just the way I used to go through yours and dads same things , and it irritates me just the same way it used to irritate you . Any how mom I guess that is my karma.

For now on your birthday I’d like to honor you on by sharing with you a few but very important life lessons that i have learned from you, and to this day i see that you continue to live by these life lessons . You continue to teach both Dina and I in the way that you live , and they are what we would like to pass on to our children…

1. Mom , I have learned from you to be kind to people to give to share to be generous , to give your self to be selfless and not selfish. You show me this very much in they way you treat your staff . You treat your staff so well you hold daily meetings with them you give them work they learn from you you can see. That they are genuinely happy .

2. You’ve taught me how to be grateful mom and that in being grateful you are happy . You have taught me to be happy with what I have and not to always want more . You and dad are living examples of living life with an attitude of gratitude and this I believe is one of the reasons you both are so happy.

3. You have taught me how to keep God close at all times not just in times of need , but all the time . You said to me “make him your friend he listens and will always help” . You have told me to even thank him just for today . For everyday that you are alive is a day to be thankful for .

Mom because of you dad and my family I am a happy extremely camper . Mom I am so happy to have you as my mother and as a grandmother to my children . I am grateful for you and I love so so much , happy birthday .

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