Women As Explained By Engineers

I compiled some of the emails and posts about women.  I actually find them funny and I think many are true.  I am so glad Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, imagine how boring our lives would be if we were alike? 🙂

 Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

9 Words Women Use

 

 

 

 

 

The Toughest  Questions for Men

1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?

3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is

guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers

incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public

service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible

responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been

pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,

thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am

to have met you.”

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer,

which most likely is one of the following:

a. Baseball.

b. Football.

c. How fat you are.

d. How much prettier she is than you.

e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al

Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know what I was

thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed

answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh Yeah, loads.

b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?

c. That depends on what you mean by love.

d. Does it matter?

e. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?

b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.

c. A little extra weight looks good on you.

d. I’ve seen fatter.

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I

    would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!”

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.

b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.

c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.

d. Define pretty.

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I

    would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question# 5: What would you do if I died?

 A definite no-win question, but one response that might work is:

“I’d be devastated, and struggle to go on without you.”

Incorrect responses include:

a. I’d turn to your sister for comfort and solace.

b. I’d sell your clothes and shoes and retire.

c. I’d see if your (recently divorced) best friend is still

    available.

The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”

 

WHY WOMEN CAN’T SLEEP

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